Old Pastry Chefs Never Die, They Just Make Less Dough

The modern bag lady.

Chico Bag!!!

Ok, so this post isn't about pastry or baking, but there are baguettes in the picture to the right, so it counts, OK? I stick to the theme of my blog......technically.

Anyway, I just got back from my hairdresser (my hair color is now normal again, the Ronald McDonald look is gone-yay!), and she showed me this cool bag she got as a gift. 

It's called the Chico Bag.

I am now the official spokesmodel for the Chico Bag.

It's so cool! And cheap!

It's a lightweight nylon bag (think parachute material), that stuffs up into its own little tiny bag....small enough to put in your purse or coat pocket so you can take it with you anywhere. It comes in all sorts of colors and if you buy 4 you get the fifth one free. They're 5 bucks apiece.

Totally awesome. I've always hated having to designate "paper or plastic" at the grocery store, since I know that either choice isn't environmentally friendly. The only environmentally friendly choice is a reusable bag, but of course, I never have one with me. Now I will!

I bought five of them.......two for me and 3 more to give as gifts. 

Ok, end of public service announcement and free plug for the Chico Bag. 

Coming soon........more sugar infused ranting............

Fun with Photoshop.

When I get home from a long day at the bakery, where I've been on my feet all day, I just want to sit my ass DOWN. 

After I get my dose of the TV News, I usually plunk myself down in front of the computer, check my email, post on

eGullet and Cheftalk, see what that latest is on Britney (can't help myself, as I said in my previous post, I love trainwrecks), and then play around with my favorite computer program, Adobe Photoshop. Before I was a pastry chef, I was a geek, and I'm still a geek. I used to be very quiet about my geekness, but now I'm proud, especially when we have movies that get sympathy for our cause, like "Revenge of the Nerds". Then of course, there's Bill Gates. The nerd you make fun of today, could possibly own you tomorrow! All hail Bill! Of course I'm not saying that because Bill and my brother look strangely alike. No, not at all.

Bill-garth

Anyway, I indulge my inner geekness after a long day of swimming in butter eggs, and flour. Here's my latest Photoshop project, in which I have inserted my face into a picture on the front of an old Hamilton Beach Mixer user's manual. Added some rats, and changed a little wording and you have yet another example of expressive art created by, yes, a burned out pastry chef. I've stayed on the "bitch theme" because well, I'm still on a diet.

Mixergalme

Do I need professional help? You betcha. But computer art therapy is much cheaper.

The Critics Corner

Every once in a while, I, as an average moviegoer, feel compelled to write reviews on movies I've seen. But only the ones I feel passionately about. Last Friday, I saw one such film, since it's nominated for Best Picture this year. I try to see all the "contenders" so I can talk smack at the annual Oscar party that our neighbors throw. I was invited last year, not sure if I'll be invited this year. Maybe 'cause I talk smack. Anyway, I saw this:

Blood

I would like to say, passionately, that this film was the most excruciatingly long, boring, weird, piece of CRAP I've ever seen and I paid 8 bucks to do so. For one thing, this film has the WRONG title. It should be:

Boredom

There, that's better.

And that, basically, is my review. If you would like to go out, spend 8 bucks to watch an overly long excruciatingly boring, bizarre movie, squirm in your seat and pray for it to end so you can go home and shoot yourself in the head, then this is the movie for you. If this movie wins ANY awards at the Oscars, I will be yelling at the top of my lungs at the television set, therefore securing my exclusion at next year's Oscar party, and all because of this STUPID STUPID movie.

I'd like to know something too.......who in the heck ARE the people that decide what gets nominated for an Academy Award? They are not of this planet, and I can tell from their choices, I would not want to socialize with them, much less go out to the movies with them. I have a feeling if Martin Scorsese made a film about grass growing, they'd love it and it would be a shoe-in for best picture. I think the only thing that saves the Academy Awards is the red carpet show beforehand, where all the smarmy emcees are critiquing equally bad fashion. Bad film, bad fashion. Everybody loves a trainwreck. As do I. But boring trainwrecks? Not so much. 

To quote the late Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, I give this movie 2 big thumbs down. And every other part of my body that points in an earthbound direction, which at 45, is quite a lot.

If this review saves anyone their 8 bucks, then I've certainly done my job.

My imaginary cake shop.

Bitches!

One thing for sure......I'll never open my own cake shop. I'm crazy, but I'm not THAT crazy. But if I DID have my own shop, I've already got my name and logo ready to go. Nothing like truth in advertising!